Thursday, August 30, 2007

Wookie vs Care Bear

The time of year has come, for all to enjoy a little of the pigskin variety. The Fall is upon us which we all know means football. NFL, college, high school, flag and fantasy for some of you. With football comes plenty of exciting endeavors. Tailgates to benefit from, jerseys to be worn and arguments to be had about who is the best. Well, I wanted to get into the spirit and pass along my top 5 unappreciated football positions.

  • Long Snapper. Here’s a guy who was never good enough to play either linebacker or tight end, so he started bending over and practiced throwing a ball between his legs. You can always tell who he is when he’s on the field, as he is the only one not wearing gloves, wrist bands or anything else that would allow a player to look cool. The long snapper is always the guy who wants to be apart of the team, but everyone else knows that he only has a part of 4 maybe 5 plays a game. Fitness; this guy has the diet of a retired sumo wrestle. But the worst part for these guys is that no one remembers the great ones, people only remember the ones that lose games with a mistake.
  • 3rd String QB. Here’s a fellow who not only doesn’t have to worry about playing in a game, but on top of that he makes 6 figures a year doing it. I mean, that can put a lot of stress on a man. Debating whether to part his hair to the right or left can really put a damper on the pre game jitters.
  • Blocking Fullback. Here’s to the guy who gives up his body for the good of his friends…..(and I don’t mean the frat guy weird touching at parties that they think empresses girls in hopes of taking one home and ruining their life) The blocking fullback has one job in life and that job is take his head and hit it into the first different colored jersey he sees. He usually has so much padding/cowboy collars around his head, he needs to turn to be able to see to the right or left.
  • Field Goal Holder. Not many people know this but the field goal holder position has the most injury during any given year. I mean, holding a ball upright while a little man w/ a one bar face mask runs and swings his leg at you can really cause emotional stress. Being on that one knee for 3 or 4 times a game could possible provide grass stains and tears if on turf.
  • Hit Man on Kick Off. This is a special person to play this position. This sole job in life is to sprint down the field and throw himself into the wall that the apposing team has set up for blocking. You can usually hear this man running down the field screaming as he tries to block the voices in his head. Basically he has to disrupt the wall of other players so his teammates have a chance of making a tackle. These guys also make the best wing men when you go out to the bars.

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