"Throw It Back! Throw It Back!"

Last Thursday I attended the Sox-Twins game at Fenway in one of the $495 dollar bleacher seats. I usually picture the singing recliners from Bob's Discount Furniture when I think about $500 dollar seats, but from sitting in the tiny bleacher seats I decided the only practical household function would be turning them into a baby high chair. I am sure they are sanitary. Nonetheless, the location of the seats proved worthwhile as a Twins home run ball landed two seats over. I got two finger tips on it, but not enough to reel it in. Believe me I am still kicking myself for not checking my girlfriend back a row for those extra couple of inches. The ball kicked around and someone picked it up, and everyone started chanting "Throw it back! Throw it back!" The guy did and then, to everyone's surprise, security came over and kicked him out. We all quickly learned why you never see highlights of fans throwing back home run balls at Fenway. I have mentioned this to a few people, and all were surprised of the Fenway Park policy. So let me warn you that even if Paul O'Neil is resurrected and hits a home run ball to you, and you feel the evilness sink into your skin with every second you hold it in your hand, don't throw it back. Instead offer to a bright eyed, young Yankee fan before throwing it in the trash.