Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Red Sox Game = No fun for poor people

The Boston Red Sox historically have one of the highest payrolls in the bigs, with one of the smallest ball parks, and the best damn Italian sausage, peppers and onions around. I mean you can buy a sausage anywhere around the park and it is still incredible. Plus the peppers and onions just make it one of tastiest foods to ever come in a cow intestine...Back to what I was saying...poor people. I've been poor and let me tell you something....being poor sucks. One of the suckiest things about being poor is that going to a red sox game is no fun. Let's do some quick math and see if the equation can in any way equal fun.

Box Tickets for 6 (poor people have a lot of kids even though they can't afford them...good thing the state can) ($645.50) + 6 Fenway Franks ($30.00) + 6 Bottled waters ($18.00) + 10 Beers for Dad because he likes to drink and hates his wife($80.00) + Parking (Free) they know a guy who works at Hess = Dad working the overnight shift at the box factory for 1 month + Mom takes an extra shift at Denny's + the sacrifice of the oldest son quiting school to sweep floors + little Sally fails spelling for the third time (this will eventually lead to Sally becoming a stripper and developing an "addictive personality") + Dad drinks more and talks about leaving this S-hole for Mexico and a job on a fishing boat

So as you can see in this simple equation Red Sox Games DO NOT EQUAL Fun For Poor People.

Red Soxs Games actually equal the dismantling of a moral family and the reason why no one likes walking down Dot Ave....ever.

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